Michael Stroud 1959-2022
Remembering my baby brother
I’m not talking about food in this edition of Ruthtalksfood. Instead I want to tell you about my amazing “baby” brother, who died too soon this week at the age of 62.
If one man packed several lifetimes into one and made a difference in the world, it was my younger brother Michael, who died on March 2 from complications of a heart condition. I called him “baby brother” until one day, only a few years ago, he protested, “Please don’t call me that anymore! I’m not a baby.”
But to me, he always was and always will be. I told him that at the hospital when I was saying goodbye.
Professionally, he was a shape-shifter. A Chinese scholar who learned to speak Mandarin fluently in Taiwan, he had a lengthy career in journalism. He followed that by becoming CEO of an entertainment conference business. Then, in his mid-50s, he switched gears and began a new chapter as a licensed marriage and family therapist.
After several internships, Michael landed a highly coveted position at UCLA’s Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital. Along the way, he became a beloved meditation teacher at InsightLA, a popular mindfulness meditation center.
“As a clinician, Michael had a magical combination of knowledge, innate skills and life experiences that he could channel into the service of those clients he served,” said James Rosser, Michael’s colleague at UCLA and a fellow meditation teacher.” Each client valued his presence and his compassion. He changed the lives of so many. In fact, every life he touched, be it client or staff, was changed, and always for the better.”
Born on July 2, 1959 in Palo Alto, CA, Michael was the youngest of four, the son of a German-Jewish refugee, Vernon Stroud (nee Straus), who himself started a new life as a mechanical engineer at Westinghouse, and Flora (nee Gordon), a native of Glasgow, Scotland. My dad’s entire family had been forced to flee Nazi Germany in the late 1930s.
Ten years younger than his next-oldest sibling (me!), he grew up as almost an only child, but developed a knack for friendship that served him well all his life. An excellent student at Palo Alto High School (though his jokes managed to aggravate his geometry teacher enough to get him sent to the principal!), Michael found time for competitive tennis, chess and early forays into Transcendental Meditation (TM), which sparked a lifelong interest in meditation practice.
Initially contemplating a career in medicine at UC San Diego, Michael soon discovered a passion for Chinese language and history, graduating with a B.A. in Chinese Studies from UC Berkeley in 1981. He spent several years in Taiwan studying Chinese Zen and then 20 years as a journalist, beginning as a freelance foreign correspondent, followed by a stint as reporter for Bloomberg (1993-1999) and Investor's Business Daily (1986-1993), and correspondent for Wired News (1999-2004). Michael also wrote for the New York Times, Los Angeles Times and The Wrap, among others.
He married Zahava Aroesty in 1988 in Los Angeles. He and Zahava had two children and separated in 2013.
A perpetual seeker when it came to spirituality as well as his career choices, Michael continued the meditation path he’d begun with TM, adding Japanese and Chinese Zen, Jewish meditation and mindfulness. He also found solace and support in various 12-step programs, including Overeaters Anonymous and Emotions Anonymous.
In 2000, he co-founded and served as CEO of the iHollywoodForum, offering conferences on entertainment industry topics.
In 2012, seeking a new beginning, Michael returned to school at Antioch University, Los Angeles, to pursue a Master’s degree in clinical psychology. As an LMFT (licensed marriage and family therapist), he specialized in working with patients suffering from depression, bipolar and other mood disorders. From his life experiences and personal struggles with depression, Michael had an intimate and empathic understanding that enabled him to help others more than someone who simply understood such suffering intellectually.
“There are people who grow more empathic through their own suffering,” wrote our cousin Alan Feiger. “Michael transcended his own tragedies.”
Even when his health began to fail recently, Michael sought the best medical care he could find because he still had so much he wanted to do, see and experience. After years of struggle, he had discovered a deep love for helping others as a counselor and teacher.
Michael had a vibrant sense of humor and fun, told Jewish jokes with elan, had recently learned to cook in an Instant Pot with little or no salt (he swore he could make a lentil stew extremely tasty with just a microdose of sodium), claimed to be able to beat his daughter Elana in chess, though she apparently whipped his butt in Scrabble.
In addition to his children, Zahava, myself, and our two older brothers, David and Denis, Michael is survived by many cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, patients, and uncounted friends and colleagues who will miss him enormously.
“At a time when so many bad things are going on in the world, Michael’s death is particularly painful,” my cousin Colin Brewer wrote in a note to me after I relayed the news of Michael’s passing. “Everyone who knew him has lost a fine human being, just when we need more people like him.”
He was truly the best
I am so sorry. Your “baby brother” sounds like such an incredible man who gave so much to everyone he came into contact with.